Hey man,
Nice to see you put something into the contest! Mellow and reflective, I like it! Can definitely hear you going for the romantic style and the your contemporary passage fits nicely within the composition. Well done!
I know that this is probably just finale thing but when your moving between passages there are just drops of volume where either reverb or a decrescendo would make those transitoins smoother (like at :32, and 2:12). Also, I think in general I would've loved to see you put more dynamics in this piece. To me it feels a little bit programmed rather than played.
I'd be interested in hearing your other idea if you don't mind sharing.
~J
P.S. Happy Birthday!